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Tiny Wight's Monster Hunting Tips

An invaluable compendium of tips from one of the greatest monster-hunting legends of all time written with the explicit intent of preventing up and coming slayers from remaining or becoming ignorant a**holes.

Tiny Wight's Monster Hunting Tips

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The Garlic Myth
Hi folks, Tiny Wight here with another monster hunting tip to add to your knowledge base.

It is a commonly accepted fact among monster hunters that garlic is not an effective vampire deterrent. After years of research I believe I've finally uncovered the origins of this myth. In generations past, when vampires and vampirism were more widespread and their existence was more commonly acknowledged and journaled, many observers noted that an attacking vampire would shy away from people known for their affinity for garlic! How weird?
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Treating a Werewolf Bite
"Werewolf bites hurt, they burn, and without proper surgical or mystical treatment you will turn you into a rabid hell beast at the next full moon.
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Using a Stake

It's a steak alright, but it's definitely not going to kill a vampire. You've got to trust me on this one - your life and yes, even your immortal SOUL may depend on it.
Ceci n'est pas un stake
You idiot! I said stake, not steak! Even if we got that thick, juicy sirloin through his heart, it wouldn’t stop him! In the future, when I say “stake”… I mean a goddamned wooden stake. Now you know. And knowing is better that being an ignorant, useless a**hole.

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Hunting Tips

I'm friggin' pissed! 

 

Someone ate my last half gallon of vanilla bean ice cream that I had in the sub-zero walk-in freezer. It was clearly labeled "TINY WIGHT's VANILLA BEAN ICE CREAM, ASSHOLE. NO TOUCHY." 

 

I just got back from the grocery store with all these sundae fixin's and now I'm standing here with MUD on my face. Whoever took that ice cream, I swear to you "I will punch your fucking lights out".


 
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